Mission Impossible
by Urchin Power
Summary: Inspired, Fuji and Eiji decide to play secret agents and well...they manage to get on the nerves of practically everyone.


_**Title: **Mission Impossible  
**Date:** August 24, 2005_  
_**Authoress:** Urchin Power (formerly know as Dead Insomniac)  
__**Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the characters used within this story.  
__**Category:** Humour  
__**Summary:** When playing secret agent… Inspired, Fuji and Kikumaru decide to play secret agents and well...they manage to get on the nerves of practically everyone. No evident pairings.  
__**Note:** I was trying to do a back flip and I landed on my back. Then I thought, secret agents can do back flips! Next, I wondered if Fuji and Kikumaru could be secret agents… Then I asked myself: "what reference do I have?" Afterwards it clicked! Why not make fun of that movie that I love to make fun of? Well, I hope you all enjoy this fic!_

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Mission Impossible

It started as a good day concluded the vice-captain of the Seigaku tennis club. Yes, it was indeed a very good day. There was a good amount of sunshine and a small amount of wind, perfect tennis weather. Yet, you can always trust someone to destroy a perfect day like this one. And that someone would be Fuji Syusuke.

* * *

Yesterday, a certain red-head decided to rent out a moving involving murder, violence, spy work, train fights, etc. Kikumaru Eiji was psyched to watch this film, since it was much talked about a few years ago and he still hasn't seen it yet. So who did he invite over to watch it with him? None other than his slightly sadisticbest friend. 

"I'd think that in a building like this one, they'd be able to keep the vents rat-free." Kikumaru said to the smiling boy next to him.

"Eiji, the rat was only there so that there would be suspense in the future. See, look the bulky guy almost dropped him." Fuji replied. Kikumaru just shrugged as he reached over for an onigiri. The good thing about watching movies at home instead of the theatre would be being able to eat whatever you want while viewing, and of course being able to talk without an angry mob of people breathing down your neck.

"Nya! That's impossible! How come the guy didn't see him after that stunt? He's right on top of him! I mean, sure look around you, but never up!" Kikumaru suddenly exclaimed.

"Saa… That's why it's called Mission Impossible. Besides, you can ask some questions about Prince of Tennis! How are you able to bend that way? Or, is it physically possible to jump that high? Why does the world revolve around tennis? Why don't we ever go to school?" Fuji commented, the ever-present smile still on his face.

"Well, how do you see with your eyes closed?" Kikumaru argued back.

"Well, the reason why my eyes are closed is for expression reasons. That's why they make eyes so big in animes. You see, by drawing my eyes closed doesn't allow for the viewer to see the emotions that I'm feeling. Thus making me a mysterious character." Fuji said turning to his friend with the talked about smile plastered on his face. Kikumaru seemed to have calm down after receiving that answer, as much as the hyper tennis player Kikumaru Eiji was able to. Both boys were left staring at each other until Fuji decided to speak up once more. "Saa… Do you think that we'll make good secret agents?"

"What do you mean Fujiko-chan?" Kikumaru asked with a hint of hesitance in his voice.

"Let's go to school tomorrow with the attire and attitude of secret agents." Fuji suggested off-handily.

"Nya! We can go on missions! Like stealing the tennis balls, cause they have bombs in them. Or touching Oishi's head, cause I have no clue how his hair works!" Kikumaru suddenly exclaimed sitting up straighter, obviously interested.

"Yea, we can also interrogate people." Fuji said with a hint of wickedness apparent in his voice, yet innocent smile still in place.

"We can have matching sunglasses!" Kikumaru said bouncing up and down.

"Saa… Our first mission now would be to finish the movie."

* * *

Tezuka Kunimitsu, captain to the Seigaku tennis club, was examining the morning practice. He stood in his usual manner, straight backed and arms crossed. He even had a look on his face that said: Disobey-Me-And-I-Will-Kill-You-By-Assigning-You-Many-Many-Laps. Next to him was… Well no one was next to him, and he found that weird. 

"Oishi." Tezuka ordered to a raven-haired man not to far away.

"Yea?" Oishi said dropping his task of taking attendance and make his way next to the buchou.

"Where's Fuji?" Tezuka asked in his usual cold voice.

"I was just wondering that as well. Actually I checked over attendance and realized that both Fuji and Eiji aren't here yet. Momoshiro is most likely sick… Same with Arai and Horio… But about those two…" Oishi said as the buchou nodded. After a short while Oishi decided to break the silence, "Should I call one of them? They're most likely together following some evil scheme." After receiving another nod, Oishi left the captain's side and made his way to a phone.

After dialling some numbers, Oishi stood and waited. Finally someone picked up, but instead of the usual 'Moshi moshi?' all he received was heavy breathing. A little curious Oishi asked, "Eiji, that you?"

"Shh! This phone line is bugged. Arrive at the water fountain via 08 hours… Um… Now." Whispered Kikumaru's voice. Oishi was rather confused, so heobeyed to the awkward orders and made his way to the water fountains. As he stood near the taps, he waited for a good minute. Just as he was about to leave he felt something weird on his head. Oishi was least to say, freaked out. The vice-captain slowly turned around to see both Kikumaru and Fuji staring at him, or so he assumed, since they were both wearing matching pitch-black sunglasses and he was unable to see into their eyes. At once Kikumaru dropped his hand from Oishi's head and allowed for Fuji to take a picture of said head.

"Mission successful." Fuji said shaking hands with the redhead. "Please state observations." Fuji continued.

"It appears to be some unidentifiable material. Theory of 'A lot of Hair Gel' shot down. Specimen 107 probably knew that too much hair gel is hazardous for the health." Kikumaru said standing up straight with both arms to his side. Both boys seemed to ignore the presence of a wide-eyed Oishi.

"Let's take the evidence to the lab in order to identify the substance on Specimen 107's head." Fuji said dashing away with Kikumaru not to far behind him.

It started as a good day concluded the vice-captain of the Seigaku tennis club. Yes, it was indeed a very good day. There was a good amount of sunshine and a small amount of wind, perfect tennis weather. Yet, you can always trust someone to destroy a perfect day like this one. And that someone would be Fuji Syusuke. Mainly because Oishi wouldn't suspect Kikumaru to come up with some crazy idea such as this one… And dealing with the past… Yes, Oishi was sure it was Fuji.

"Oishi, what's wrong?" Tezuka asked his best friend, who was dazed looking.

"T-The… Fuji… E-Eiji… I… My h-hair… I just… I…" Oishi stuttered eyes still wide in shock. Tezuka frowned and uncrossed his arms.

"Tell me exactly what happened." Tezuka said sternly. Oishi just nodded and took in a deep breath to calm himself down. However, before Oishi could say anything there was a high-pitched shriek. Both captains turned towards the owner of that scream to find Kaoru Kaidoh… As well as two boys dressed up in their school uniforms, wearing their black jacket even though it was summer, and both had sunglasses…

"Mission successful!" Kikumaru exclaimed over to a smiling Fuji who took a picture of a shocked looking Kaidoh, one without the regular bandana on his head.

"Please state observations." Fuji said. Kikumaru nodded as Kaidoh collapsed to the ground in shock. Both Tezuka and Oishi were staring at the two boys with their mouths wide opened looking like a couple of clueless fish.

"Hoi! It appears that the reason behind the bandana is that specimen 64 is trying to start a fashion fad. His attempts are unsuccessful. Also, specimen 64 has greasy looking hair, very ugly. He is most likely conscious of this fact, therefore is trying to start a bandana craze." Kikumaru said.

"Hm. We have learned nothing from this mission." Fuji stated. Before Fuji could say anything else Tezuka strided his way over to them.

"What are you both doing?" Tezuka asked in a dangerous voice. Both boys quickly turned to each other and exchanged glances before turning back to Tezuka.

"That would be confidential." Fuji said in his usual sickeningly sweet voice. Tezuka on the other hand looked quite affronted when he heard that.

"Please drop the weapon." Kikumaru said to Tezuka while pulling out a hand water pistol. While Tezuka had to register what the redhead said, Fuji pulled out his pistol as well and was pointing it at the buchou along with Kikumaru.

"What weapon?" Tezuka finally asked while trying to cover the look of deep confusion on his face.

"That." Kikumaru said pointing to the tennis racquet in Tezuka's left hand.

"This?" Tezuka said bringing the tennis racquet up to examine it. Suddenly, Fuji let out a gasp that was rather faked and shot the buchou with his water gun. Using the water gun Fuji shot Tezuka. Shot Tezuka with water right at the crotch region. And let's just say that Seigaku tennis shorts (being white) should not get wet when in public.

"You've been warned!" Fuji said grabbing a shocked Kikumaru's arm and dragging him away, both boys running for their dear lives.

"Are you all right Tezuka?" Oishi asked as Tezuka took off his Regulars jacket and tied it around his waist in an attempt to hide the wet area.

"Yes. But they won't be." Tezuka said with a dark glint in his eyes.

* * *

Both Fuji and Kikumaru arrived in to class exactly when the bell rang to be graced with the presence of the sensei. That was a good thing, because her presence would ensure their survival against a rather pissed off looking buchou who so happened to be in the same class as them. 

"No sunglasses in the school." The teacher said giving both boys a look that screamed: What drug are you on? And if there was no drugs, then there was no logical explanation for this type of behaviour.

At once Kikumaru pulled the teacher to the side with Fuji standing in front of the class glaring the best he can at them behind sunglasses with his arms crossed, as though trying to block out the conversation behind him. "We can't do that. If our identities were to unveil we'll be putting you and this whole class at risk. The enemy is always there, you can never be too safe. Please act as though this conversation never happened for your own safety." Kikumaru said rapidly to the stunned teacher next to him.

"Neko, you done?" Fuji said from the corner of his mouth to the redhead behind him.

"Task completed. Make your way to your sitting area." Kikumaru said over to Fuji who nodded. At once both boys walked simultaneously to their designated seats opposite from each other in the class.

"… All right." The teacher said arranging her glasses before continuing. "Today we'll be discussing the functions of-" Unfortunately for her, she was interrupted by a ring tone that sounded like it came straight outof Dance Dance Revolution.

"Neko to Tensai, are you there?" Kikumaru asked, loudly whispering into his cell phone. After a short pause Kikumaru restated his sentence.

"Tensai here. It appears there's a disturbance in this vicinity. The cause is still unknown." Fuji said into his cell phone. Tezuka, who sat behind Fuji, was rolling his eyes.

"You're the ones causing the disturbance!" One of the boys in the class shouted.

"Residents are becoming restless and volatile, suggesting evacuation." Fuji said more loudly into his cell phone as a couple of girls in the class giggled and blushed at the show both boys were putting on.

"Are there any other options?" Kikumaru asked desperately into his cell phone even though the person he was talking to was less than 10 metres away. The teacher in the mean time looked as though she was about to faint.

"Suggesting backup." Fuji said into his cell phone, as the teacher collapsed into her chair with her head on her desk emitting loud sobs.

"Roger that." Kikumaru said hanging up. After a seconds pause he started to dial another number. Now it was more like a one sided conversation for the class to hear.

Kikumaru: Requesting backup!

Situation is residents are turning violent.

Requesting backup!

What's your ETA? Estimated Time of Arrival?

We'll stay low for now…

One of the girls in the class giggled as she asked, "Wonder who he's calling." The girl next to her also giggled and blushed as she said, "They're so cute!" The boy next to her however said, "I'm too old for this." All of a sudden the doors busted open to reveal Momoshiro Takeshi in sunglasses that match both the brunette and redhead.

"I'm here to assist in the evacuation." Momoshiro said in a surprisingly deep voice as he pulled out a water pistol from the school's uniform jacket. As someone in the class commented, 'isn't it hot for those three to be running around in jackets in the summertime?'

"Peach! We're glad you've arrived!" Kikumaru said standing up and gathering his school things. On the other side of the class, Fuji was doing the same thing.

"Requesting change in name." Momoshiro said with a giant sweat drop to the side of his head.

"Denied." Fuji said walking out of the class followed by Kikumaru.

"Why not!" Momoshiro half yelled and half whined following his two senpai out the classroom door. Tezuka in the meantime was wondering what he could have done to Kami-sama punish him like this. Oishi who was sitting near the back of the class imitated the teacher, as he too let his head drop to his desk as he started to sob.

* * *

"I heard from your first period sensei that Fuji Syusuke and Kikumaru Eiji are up to something and that I shouldn't look for them, since I'll be able to get more work done without them." Said the teacher as he stood in the front of the class. The class had absolutely no objection to that so the teacher continued, "I'll be giving you all a pop quiz." He said. The class had an objection to that. 

As the teacher made his way from row to row handing the quiz papers faced down the class started to grab their pens, pencils, erasers and whatever else they needed. "You will begin… Now!" The teacher said as the whole class turned over their sheets and began to write out their names.

Five minutes into the test, Tezuka leaned back and crossed his arms. Tezuka was good at math, and he had to say that this was an easy quiz. From out of nowhere he collapsed onto the floor with a body on top of him. A few students near Tezuka started to yell in fright. The teacher was also equally startled.

"Mou! You guys couldn't support me? Am I that heavy?" Fujicomplained while sitting on Tezuka staring into the hole in the roof, made by moving the light tiles.

"Gomen ne…" Momoshiro said while looking down at Fuji a small smile on his face while scratching his head.

"This did not happen in the movie." Said Kikumaru's voice that was deeper in the ceiling.

"Can you at least pull me back up?" Fuji asked throwing the rope line, which was tightly secured around his waist at Momoshiro who easily caught it.

"I'll try, but I'm not making any promises." Momoshiro said, "By the way, Neko here isn't helping." Momoshiro added referring to a snickering voice behind him.

"G-Gomen! But… Haha! …Ew… There're a lot of cobwebs here…" Kikumaru said though his laughter as a tired and grunting Momoshiro was slowly hoisting Fuji up. Before the ceiling tile was put back into its original place Fuji looked down to the sprawled out Tezuka and said in the sweetest and most innocent voice he could muster, "You have two mistakes on your quiz." After that said, the three boys disappeared into the ceiling.

"Are you okay Tezuka?" Oishi asked as the helped the captain sit up.

"Fine. Just fine…"

"Then why is your eye twitching? Oh… Never mind." Oishi replied as Tezuka quickly stood up, straightened himself and brushed off the dust that clung onto his clothing.

"May I be excused from class sensei? I just need to do something." Tezuka asked as the teacher silently nodded. "Is it possible for Oishi to also be excused from class and from the quiz? I think the odds of success will be better if it's two versus three." Tezuka asked. The teacher once more just nodded still wide-eyed.

"What're you planning?" Oishi asked suspiciously over to the captain as Tezukalifted himself up on his desk.

"If we keep talking we won't be able to catch up to those idiots." Tezuka said severely, eyes flashing. Oishi sighed as he followed Tezuka up and into the ceiling. As Oishi followed and crawled behind Tezuka, he noticed that there were indeed loads of cobwebs in the ventilation shaft that the three 'Men in Black' crawled through. There was also a lot of dust.

"Ne… I think I'm allergic…" Oishi said stifling up a sneeze. Tezuka didn't even replied or looked behind him, since he was intent on searching and killing. One could say that Tezuka was on search and destroy mode, one could also say that that's because he's a robot. That would also explain why he's so emotionless, but that's beside the point.

"Do you see what that is?" Tezuka snarled and pointed.

"A dead mouse?" Oishi asked rather confused and disgusted. Tezuka shook his head and explained still using his deadly cold voice, "No, look there. As you can see this ceiling tile hasn't been placed back properly. Also, notice that there is no dust on the edges of the tile, which means that someone removed it from the inside recently. I bet those idiots must have left through here…" Tezuka said removing the floorboard and jumping down to the ground. Oishi sighed, but followed his murderous captain out of the vent and into… the girl's bathroom.

* * *

"I don't understand why you did that Fuji-senpai." Momoshiro said scratching the back of his head. 

"Did what?" Fuji asked smiling at his kouhai after ordering three strawberry ice cream cones from a random vendor who parked a block away from their school.

"Well, why did you remove some of the dust around the sides of that one floorboard and move it a bit? I mean… It didn't do anything…" Momoshiro stammered, since he was a little shy of asking such a simple question to an obvious genius. Fuji on the other hand just chuckled a little and handed one of the ice cream cones to him and the other to Kikumaru.

"Don't worry about it, it's on me." Fuji said referring to the ice cream before explaining, "Did you know that that ceiling board was right on top of the second floor girl's bathroom?" Fuji said opening his eyes. Momoshiro backed away a little from the tensai. One could say that it was due to the evil aura the brunette emitted. "Let's just say that our higher ups will be in for a surprise. Ne, Momoshiro?"

"I still don't get it." Momoshiro said taking a lick from his ice cream.

"Saa… You will eventually." Fuji replied closing his eyes again, with his usual facial expression of cheerfulness and utter most innocence.

"Nya! I don't feel like carrying my jacket and these sunglasses around." Kikumaru complained, while indicating to the black jacket and black sunglasses lazily carried by his left arm.

"Yea, well I guess after that last stunt we decided to retire the secret agent stuff." Momoshiro laughed while taking out a huge chuck on his ice cream cone.

"Saa… We could tie the jackets around our necks so it'll look as though we're professional golfers… or that we're wearing little capes and we could be like superheroes." Fuji said absent mindedly while enjoying his ice cream cone.

"Then we can run around saving people! And the sunglasses can be like…"

"Laser vision goggles!"

"Nya! Good one Momo-chan!"

"Let's do that. Well, we better get to tennis practice."

"Hoi! Hoi! Super Ultimate Trio Action Power! We must save the universe from the evil tennis buchou, who is secretly training a mass army that he'll use to conquer the world. I mean, the number of laps he assigns… There's something fishy about it…"

"Don't forget that we must take out his evil sidekick first!"

"Saa… Poor Oishi-san…"

**Mission Completed**

_**Ending Notes:** Hm… I have nothing to note except… What drug am I inhaling? Injecting? Smoking? Rolling around in? Also, it's back to school and I need to buy a new bag, cause all my books don't fit into Dora the Explorer… Well, I hoped that you all had a great time with this fic!_

_Urchin Power! Hiya!_


End file.
